The broken car
Imagine you are driving down the road and suddenly a car engine light comes on. You might look at that light and think “mmm . . it’s Ok I think that will go away if I add some water”, it might be something you know you can fix easily, or even at this stage you might decide to ignore the light to see what happens.
If you weren’t able to fix it or you were ignoring it, what then happens if another light comes on? Or if that light starts flashing and getting bigger? Do you still wait to see how it plays out? Do you know how to fix it? Because if you did you might have taken those actions by now? Perhaps you tried something to fix it but it came back on anyway!
What do we do now?
It’s likely you will either research it to see if this is something you can sort out yourself, everyone has different tools and skills after all, and this may or may not work. But failing all else you will find someone who can help you with fixing the problem behind the light, usually a professional.
What does the analogy mean?
The car, of course, represents our relationship and the light on the dash are the warning signs that we encounter along the way, this might be communication problems, differences in what we want or in our values, parenting issues, feeling lonely or unhappy, betrayals, affairs or sex issues. We do have a tendency sometimes to hope that these things will resolves themselves, or we try something but it doesn’t work. What do we do then? Well just like in the analogy it might be the time to ask a professional for some help in resolving these problems.
“maybe we just need some time apart?” is what a lot of people might ask, however let’s go back to that car. If you get out of the car and walk away for a month, when you come back to it will the lights have gone off? Not on their own, or if in the unlikely event they do go off, maybe because the car has cooled down, they are still likely to come back on again once the car is running, if nothing has significantly changed.
If you are wondering whether counselling is right for you, or where you can access support, talk to us today.
Anna - EWG Director