Lockdown - feelings of confinement
Lockdown has been a frustrating and confining experience for many of us. This situation and the feelings it can stir up can remind us of past experiences when we have felt confined.
Growing up in a caring family, as children we can often feel confined by rules and cultural expectations. Having boundaries as a child is appropriate, as a child needs a sense of safety in order to express themselves. However, having an overbearing parenting style, can be damaging to a child’s sense of self worth.
Feeling confined can also bring up memories of personal relationships in which we have felt we have needed greater freedom. A healthy relationship needs agreed boundaries in order to flourish; it requires respect, good communication, honesty, trust, support a sense of safety and equality. Whereas an unhealthy relationship may show signs of control, pressure, abuse, humiliation and unpredictability.
As I look for answers I see that confinement is part of life and that there can be benefits to being confined. An unborn child is confined to its mother’s womb for its growth, nurture and protection until the time is right for the child to be able to survive outside of the womb.
Confinement or restriction can be viewed as a boundary for our safety and protection. Boundaries are like a garden fence, marking out our area of responsibility – otherwise we could be overwhelmed; boundaries make room for creativity and expression because we can be focused; and boundaries can keep intruders out - from violating or stealing what is ours.
Feeling shut down is like being under pressure, under a microscope or a magnifying glass! The intensity of the experience can bring every flaw to the surface; we can become touchy, on edge or irritable. Perhaps these are signs that it is time to look at ourselves and to use this period of lockdown to do some soul searching. In the busyness of ordinary life (perhaps this was Pre-Lockdown) we can cover up or ignore our true thoughts and feelings, whereas now time allows for reflection and action.
So when you feel confined perhaps ask yourself if the boundaries that are in place are helpful for your development, security and provision or whether action is required increase your sense of freedom and well being.
If you need any support with anything that this article has raised please get in touch with The Emotional Well Being Group for free online support.
Further reading on this subject of Boundaries:
https://positivepsychology.com/great-self-care-setting-healthy-boundaries/
Diane - EWG Counsellor