Spontaneity

In relationships, a sense of comfortability can centre. This is particularly so in longer term relationships. The longer you are with a person the more comfortable you become which is great and must not be seen as negative. However, comfortability can result in predictability and routine which again are good to an extent but too much of the same thing can impact in a negative way in a relationship.

One way to ensure the sense of comfort does not worm its way into becoming a negative in the relationship is by being a little spontaneous, creative and imaginative. Life certainly is busy and often couples can become trapped in a routine of going to work, doing the school run, the chores of the house etc that doing things together as a couple or getting any sense of quality time can prove a chore in itself. However, it’s important to recognise that having quality time together is just as important as anything else and is important to keep a relationship healthy.

So, no time like the present, after all that’s what spontaneity means, could you challenge yourself and seize the moment and think of something that would be a nice surprise for your partner? The gesture, is more than likely going to be appreciated by your other half and bring you closer together. You are likely to feel positive and great within yourself too!

How to go about doing this

Making your relationship a priority is the first step and shifting your outlook on it. Remember when you first got together and how making time for each other was important, paying attention to what interested one another and how important it was to get to know one another? Well, just because you have been together a long time, it does not mean that these things should be forgotten about. In fact, thinking in such a way, keeps the momentum of the relationship going. It requires thinking a little outside the box, doing something different to the usual to break up the routine and predictability.

Suggestions

Candle lit dinner

Romantic notes around the house

Watching a film together

Buying them a present

Doing something different in the bedroom

Massage

Eat out

Go for a picnic

Go for a walk

A day out – make some memories!

You could implement it as a regular thing such as a date night as often as you can, mixing it up, each time to keep it spontaneous. You could both get creative, taking it in turns to decide on what you will do and even compete with each other to see who can be the most spontaneous. It does not have to be big drastic things, sometimes the small and simplest things can say a lot and go a long way. It will help to bring out your love, affection and care for one another.

Asma - EWG Counsellor