Anyone who has suffered from anxiety understands how debilitating it can be. Panic attacks take over your entire body, making you feel as though you are going to die – it is not a pleasant experience. The physical symptoms such as sweating, shaking, rapid heartbeat, nausea, are all uncomfortable and draining.
My running journey started as I was informed many times about the benefits of exercise for your mental health, but the thought of joining a gym on my own, after years of not going to a gym, made my anxiety worse. So, instead, I thought about running. I will admit that I had always admired people who I saw jogging as I passed then by in my car, or as I walked my dog; I always thought it looked liberating. So, one day after talking to my sister who was an avid runner, I decided to join her one day.
And that one day extended to a full year, which included my first half marathon in 2021.
The first time I ventured out for a run with my sister, I felt incredibly anxious – what if I looked stupid? What if I couldn’t manage it? What if I tripped? Every bad thought in my brain had come together to try and convince me that I was going to fail – but once I had finished my first run, I truly felt as though I had achieved something, and this is how my love for running began.
Running became a form of therapy for me; if I ever felt over-whelmed, upset, or if my mind was going one hundred miles an hour, or if my body was experiencing a surge of nervous/hyper energy, I would simply slip on my leggings and my waterproof jacket and hit the pavement. It seemed that once I returned home from a run, whether it was long or short, fast, or slow, I always felt as though a weight had been lifted. I could think differently about my problems, usually in a productive, positive way and my anxious physical sensations had ceased.
I have never felt as though I had a particular ‘thing’ I was good at, and although I wasn’t Olympic medal running worthy, it didn’t dishearten me - because it wasn’t ever about becoming the best or winning or even medals; it was about achieving something much more valuable. Not only did running help my mental well-being, but also my physical health improved; I lost weight, I felt stronger and happier in myself than I had in a very long time.
Running allowed me to find something I was good at in my own way, I found a productive way to deal with my anxiety, and I found myself much happier because of it. I smashed all my own goals, from running my first 5k, to a 10k to 10 miles, to a half marathon and I did it on my own volition. I do still struggle with anxiety on occasion, running is by no means a “cure” but now I know of a way I can deal with my anxiety in a positive way and although not every run is my best run, it doesn’t matter – what matters is I ran, I got out of bed, I got up off the couch and I ran.
And my mind and body are much better for it.