The power of words
“They are just words……… right?” Where would be without words! As we use them everyday to communicate our needs and wants we take them for granted. Some may even use words to earn their daily bread, whether written or spoken. We may be all too familiar with the fact that words can be used to build us up as well as drag us down. How many of us actually stop and think about how effective our words are or what impact they may be having on those we speak to and about. A comment uttered in jest, on the spur of the moment can have a long term and devastating impact on our day and maybe even our life and the lives of others.
I have been aware of the recent reports in the press about certain prominent leading figures and the how the words that they have used has impacted relationships, has raised questions as to the suitability for their role and changed people’s perceptions of their character. But it is not just public figures that become undone by words – this affects us all. So how do we learn to harness that small muscle in our mouth? Does what we say just come from our mind or are our words flavoured more by our soul - our emotions – our heart? What do our words say about us?
We know that when we are not so in control of our mood, we are more likely to say things that we “didn’t mean”. Perhaps we see this most often in children– a temper tantrum, mean words blurted out but then usually an eagerness to make up afterwards. Thankfully most of us learn to regulate our emotions well enough to avoid childish displays. Recognising our emotions, listening to our needs and communicating these is important for healthy relationships. So if we are using hurtful words it might be time to pause and question the motives behind the words, realising that negative words will only damage our relationships and ourselves ultimately.
Here is an acronym to help us check what we are about to say:
THINK BEFORE YOU SPEAK – IS IT:
TRUE
HELPFUL
INSPIRING
NECESSARY
KIND
The power of words works both ways, we have focused on the negative aspects. But can you think of a person and a time when someone said something really kind or helpful to you that had an impact on how you felt that day? The words may even have changed the course of your life. These moments are worth remembering and replaying to ourselves. And how about doing the same for someone else – go on make someone’s day! I hope you are feeling re-inspired with these words today!
Here are some more thoughts on the use of words:
https://goop.com/wellness/mindfulness/the-scary-power-of-negative-words/
https://brm.institute/neuroscience-behind-words/
Diane, EWG Counsellor