Anxiety, breaking that cycle - negative thoughts

At difficult times in our lives we can feel like we are going round in vicious circles and often feel overwhelmed that we cannot figure a way out or a way to make sense of what is going on for us.
This cycle often involves our “Thoughts" “Feelings" “Behaviour" and “Physiological Impact” which interlink with each other like a domino effect causing the cycle to continue to go round.

If we focus on our thoughts, they are a prominent factor in this cycle. The way we think can affect the way we feel, how we behave and the physical implications on our body.

A scenario to illustrate how our thoughts feed into this cycle and allow the cycle to continue: You may have a presentation to do for work; the negative thoughts you may have are; "I am going to get it wrong. . They will not like it . . I can't do it" this may make you feel anxious, worried, stressed, which may lead to physical implications such as sweating, having palpitations, being sick, impacting on your behaviour as you may decide to avoid the situation by calling work and telling them you are unwell.

Our thoughts can become like a pattern which leads on to patterns of similar behaviour and feelings. These thoughts can automatically generate unrealistic or catastrophic conclusions causing us to get trapped in a vicious circle of negativity where we become unable to maintain a balanced or realistic perspective, we believe the negative view and each time we experience this pattern it gives further evidence that backs up the negative thoughts, the fact that you avoided the situation adds evidence to the fear "I can't do this" you are more likely then the next time to believe that thought. Such negative thinking patterns can therefore become reflexive and engrained. They can become our norm.

Let’s take a look at these thoughts in stages: - These stages are known as a schema of how  

we see ourselves, other people and the world around us.

Stage 1: Negative Core Beliefs

These are fundamental and generalised beliefs that we hold about ourselves, others and the world around us. Negative core beliefs affect our concept of ourselves. These thoughts may be along the lines of: I am not good enough, I am a failure, I am worthless. These may have stemmed from childhood, comments taken on from others, conditional statements etc.

Stage 2: Dysfunctional Assumptions

These are learned suppositions that become reflexive and ingrained in the way we interpret meanings and apply them in various contexts. They are how we automatically interpret or react to situations. These thoughts may be along the lines of; When things go wrong I can’t cope, If I don’t give a 100% then I am a failure, If she ignores me it means I am boring.

Stage 3: Negative Rules

These are strict thinking mechanisms such as all or nothing. They tend to be generally applied and rarely tested. These rules can stem from childhood and are often unrealistic later on in life. These thoughts can be along the lines of; I must always work hard, Don’t trust people, I should never cry because that’s weak.

Stage 4: Negative Automatic Thoughts

These can be conscious or subconscious to us and come from a result of the three stages above. They are very much internal and can negatively influence how we automatically interpret situations and react. These thoughts may be along the lines of; I can’t cope, They just don’t like me, I am going to mess it up.

The above stages are like a chain thought process which lead to the automatic negative thinking.

The good news is that we can in fact change how we think. We can learn to notice irrational thoughts, stop these thoughts and replace the negative thoughts with accurate thoughts. The first step is to recognise these negative thoughts. The key to changing these is to understand how we think and the problems that result from thinking in such a way. We need to understand how our core beliefs, assumptions and rules lead to the automatic negative thoughts. This is the first step towards changing our thinking style in order to support ourselves in life and grow. As human beings, we are prone to self doubting, questioning and looking for problems but we can also think in ways that are consistently healthy to have a balanced perspective.

We can in fact use strategies to change our negative thoughts or make them less effective. One way is to keep a Thought Diary We can challenge our thoughts by taking a step back and making notes of what those thoughts are and how they are making us feel. This may be quite uncomfortable to do but directly tackling and challenging them is better than ignoring them. Writing these down can help us to recognise and establish our thinking pattern and help us to notice when and where we are most uncomfortable. We can then question how thinking in such a way is helping us? What a more realistic interpretation could be? Instead of thinking what if this happens, thinking but what if it doesn’t happen, Ask ourselves if we will be defined by such thoughts and how freeing it would be to be free of them.

Changing how we think, ultimately allows the cycle to break, can uplift our mood, change how we behave and make our bodies feel more relaxed.

This is a form of self help that you can try by yourself or you can speak to a professional counsellor to receive the support you need.

by Asma - EWG Counsellor